Scripture: Ephesians 4:26 – “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…” (NRSVue)
When I was heading into middle school, I was becoming more testy and sullen, which is not unusual for people that age. My father was displeased by this change in me and would sometimes shout at me, “Why are you so angry all the time?” Clearly, the anger he was showing towards me over being angry was not helping, but it reinforced an idea that I had been taught from a very young age: being angry is bad.
It seems that every week there is another terrible story about someone shooting up a public place or driving a car through a crowd or making terrible threats to strangers online. We look at these behaviors and say that they are the result of anger. We are living in angry times, and we need to turn away from anger if we want to find the peace and love that we all want.
My father would tell me to stop being angry, but he never quite got down to why I was angry. It seemed like if he was forceful enough in being happy, it would just go away. However, if that core dissatisfaction is not addressed, the anger will just continue. Because anger, despite its very negative connotations, is a natural and neutral emotion. It arises when there is a gap between expectation and reality in a negative way, and anger motivates us to change things to better meet our needs.
There is such a thing as righteous anger. When people being defrauded or abused, you are right to be angry. When injustice is found around us, you are right to be angry. The Bible is full of passages where God’s wrath is mentioned as ready to burn away the entire world. If God can be angry, why can’t we, made in God’s image, also be angry?
The reason is that while anger should motivate us, it should not define us or take on a life of its own. The Letter to the Ephesians makes this distinction when talking about the various rules we should follow for a new life in Christ. To be angry is a part of life, but to persist in anger is sinful. Echoing the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, Ephesians says, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…” Anger is part of an emotional alert system, but if it stops at itself, it just causes frustration and misery.
God is wrathful, but that wrath never endures. It always finds a road toward forgiveness. Ephesians calls us to do the same thing, to experience anger as a part of life but then to move onto healthy ways to resolve that anger, which often involves forgiveness for the person or situation causing the anger.
Look at just such a person or situation in your life today. I know there is at least something bothering you. Feel that anger. Let it trickle down your neck, clench in your shoulders, and burn in your eyes. Now, think about what you can do with that anger. You could yell or throw something. You could be cruel to someone else, even if it is just by yelling in their general area. Or you could think about why you are mad and what it might take to fix the problem, or at least to find a way to make peace with the issue so you can move on.
It is right to be angry about bad things. It is okay to be angry about small things. But it is not okay to live a life of anger for its own sake, such that everything seems like an enemy to be attacked. I think if we all had a healthier understanding of why we are angry, we might let ourselves be angry a little to find a lot of peace at the other end.
Prayer: Lord, listen to my words of protest and lament, and grant me the peace to love and act justly through my anger. Amen.
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