Scripture: 2 Samuel 19:6b – “You have made it clear today that commanders and officers are nothing to you; for I perceive that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased.” (NRSV)
Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This was a powerful commandment, and one that especially resonates with us today. We are so deeply divided and fearful of the future, that any victory from the “other side” is a loss from which we might potentially never recover. We view the other as our implacable enemy and any and all methods to defeat them must be employed.
Jesus knew that this was no true way to live. He saw the disgust with which Roman soldiers treated the Jews of Judea and Galilee, and the seething resentment of many Jews, who prayed for a Messiah who would wipe away the Romans and any other enemies with one fell swoop. But Jesus told us that life does not work that way, and that we need to bring reconciliation even if that means we love our enemies and hope for them to see the light while they continue to plot our destruction. This is such a difficult commandment that many Christians over the centuries have ignored it or twisted it so it allows to hate those they perceive as God’s enemies as well.
But sometimes, it can be just as hard to pray for your friends as your enemies. Some people overextend themselves trying to help a broken world and may refuse to listen to friends who want to make sure they take care of themselves. Some may be in destructive family or romantic relationships. They may pray for their loved one to change: to stop their addictions, to treat them with respect, to stop their violence or abuse. Sometimes people can be so focused on fixing that relationship, even as their loved one makes no real effort beyond lip service to change, that they ignore those who love them, who want them to take care of their own needs. For example, King David loved his son Absalom, even after Absalom had killed his brother who had assaulted his sister. Absalom had to be punished, against David’s wishes, but Absalom took advantage of the situation to garner support and ultimately overthrow David. A civil war followed and eventually Absalom was killed. David wept and wailed, but his general, Joab, was having none of it. David was so worried about fixing his relationship with the traitorous Absalom that he ignored those who were fighting and dying on his behalf. Though David never spotted loving Absalom, he eventually realized that some things were simply out of his control if Absalom refused to change.
It may seem selfish to put your own needs before those who are in need, but it is like those airplane emergency air masks. Before you can place them on your loved ones, you need to place one on yourself. If you are not in a stable place, you cannot help others, no matter how loving and self-sacrificial you might be. Even Jesus before his crucifixion made things right with himself and God through his prayers at Gethsemane. These prayers, which in some way can be seen as self-care, allowed Jesus to die not only for his friends, but for his enemies as well.
When you are overwhelmed with anger at those who want you defeated and destroyed, pray for them so you may remember to love them, but when you empty yourself to love others, do not forget to let others love you, and pray for those who are your friends, too.
Prayer: God, help us to love our enemies and our friends in equal measure and to pray as always for your beloved community of peace. Amen.
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