Scripture: Job 2:13 – “They sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.” (NRSVue)
Have you ever been in a conversation when you feel like someone should say something? It can be so awkward as to be painful. When I first started in ministry, I felt the need to say something when talking with people in their times of pain and grief. I was the pastor; I was supposed to provide wisdom and insight and hope and all those things.
But as I went through my career, I learned that sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing. Because people are not necessarily looking for a solution. They want to know that someone cares, even if it is enough to sit with them and hold their hand.
The Book of Job is so insightful about suffering. At the beginning of the story, Job has been afflicted by loss and painful disease, so his three friends come to visit him. And when they arrive, they say nothing. They just sit with him in his suffering for a whole week. This is probably the best thing they do for him. Because after that time, Job voices his complaints about God to them. Then they start responding, and their words are less than helpful. The first friend, Eliphaz, says, “If one ventures a word with you, will you be offended? But who can keep from speaking?” The platitudes start flying as Job pushes back against them for almost thirty chapters.
Eliphaz thought that it was his turn to start talking, but he should have started listening. He should have swallowed the awkwardness of silence. He didn’t need to fix Job’s attitude. He needed to accept him, even if his brain told him what Job was saying was wrong.
With experience comes the wisdom to know when to speak and when to keep silent. But even older people have trouble keeping quiet when talking to their children, right? So, the next time you are with a friend or loved one who is in pain or struggling, remember the phrase, “silence is golden,” and let them figure things out unless they specifically ask for advice. Your love, which reflects the love of God, is what they, and all of us, truly need.
Prayer: God, when we pray to you, you do not talk back to us. You listen and you love. Help us do the same. Amen.
Kommentare