Tossings

Scripture: Psalm 56:8 – “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your record?” (NRSVue)

We are so used to thinking of the Bible as the plain and simple truth of God’s word that we forget that so much of it, especially in the Hebrew Bible, is poetry. Poetry is not just about things like rhyme or meter, but also about imagery, analogy, and ambiguity.

As I was reading some of the suggested lectionary passages for this week, I came across this phrase from Psalm 56: “You have kept count of my tossings.”

Tossings. What a strange word! Other translations had “lament” or “wanderings”. What was going on? I looked back at my Hebrew dictionaries and saw that these were translations of the root nwd, pronounced “node”. It means “to go back and forth” or “to flutter”. You might wander by physically moving back and forth. You might lament by shaking your head in sadness. Or you may toss and turn in your bed at night.

In an English translation, you have to choose one meaning, but I think the fact that nwd has different meanings is no accident. We respond to trouble in different ways. Sometimes we shake our heads, sometimes we toss and turn. Sometimes we flitter from place to place or idea to idea trying to find some solid place of security. But these are all signs of our unrest, but each is noticed by God, who knows all things.

One reason why “tossings” leapt out at me is because I have had a lot of sleepless nights lately. We often lose track of these kinds of restless feelings. Likewise, we might forget how we shake our heads when we are worried. We might not even notice how distracted we become in thought and action.

But God keeps track of everything. Got counts our sleepless nights. God gathers our tears in a bottle, another beautiful metaphor for God’s compassion for us. Many people think of God chronicling our deeds in a big heavenly book, to be read at Judgment Day to determine our worthiness for Heaven. But here God records the things we can’t control: our fears, our anxieties, our miseries. God knows what we suffer, why we suffer, and how we suffer. And God does not hold these feelings against us but offers us loving kindness to guide us through it all.

The editors of the Psalms indicated that Psalm 56 was written by David after he was captured by his enemies, the Philistines. But its words are true whenever we feel like we are surrounded by enemies, whether these are people, circumstances, or even our own feelings. God sees how we toss and turn at night. And so even if our tribulations do not miraculously disappear, we know that God cares about us. And we can then boldly say with the psalmist, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Prayer: God, there is so much that I worry about, things like money, health, and family safety. But I will put my trust in you, for you know it all. Together we can get through anything. Amen.