Scripture: Job 5:17-18 – “How happy is the one whom God reproves; therefore do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he binds up; he strikes, but his hands heal.” (NRSVue)
There are certain “theological classics” that pretty much all ministers read when they attend seminary, and one of these is the Summa Theologiae or “Summary of Theology” by Thomas Aquinas. This is a very long and complicated text, but one thing about it that is immediately apparent is how its arguments are structured. Each article has a question and then begins with the phrase, “It would seem that…” and then gives several statements that seem very logical and appropriate. However, these initial statements are always wrong. Thomas says, “on the contrary” and quotes the Bible or some other authoritative source, describes his point of view (“I answer that…”), and then refutes point-by-point the “It would seem” arguments.
Riveting reading to be sure. But I was thinking about the Summa when I was reading the Book of Job this week. Job is also very complicated, but it also gives statements that appear to be right but are later refuted. This usually comes in the form of Job’s “well-intentioned” friends Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. In case you may have forgotten, the Book of Job tells of a man named Job who has been cursed by Satan to lose his fortune, his children, and eventually his health. Wrecked by pain and loss, Job cries to God in anger and frustration, wishing he had never been born. His friends come to comfort him, but their platitudes fall on deaf ears.
Taken independently, the statements by the friends are theologically sound and comforting to those in pain. But like Thomas’ “it would seem that” statements, they are wrong. One such example comes from Eliphaz’s first statement, where he says, “How happy is the one whom God reproves… For he wounds, but he binds up…” The statement here is that God sends us suffering, but it is always for a reason. We are struck down, but God always forgives us, heals us, and brings us back to happiness.
This is very easy for Eliphaz to say. Job, however, does not really want to hear about how God will restore him in the end (even though this is what ends up happening). Job is suffering NOW. Eliphaz and the others are trying to make meaning out of suffering, to abstract it, to move on to hope. They do not want to think about it, and so even though they think they are being helpful, they are not able to be in the moment with Job. They do not really listen to Job. His suffering is too raw and too painful, so they do almost anything to avoid facing it.
When we see people in pain, we say things like “God has a plan,” “this too shall pass,” “God never gives us more than we can handle,” etc. And in the abstract, these things seem true. Indeed, many people are comforted by them. But when someone is really struggling, when they are facing stage four cancer or their child has overdosed on drugs or their homes and families are destroyed in war, “God has a plan” seems very hollow.
So, when someone expresses their pain to you, do not be like Job’s friends. Do not listen to them and say, “Yeah, but…” Life is not a logical debate, and our best ideas are often proven wrong. Instead, just say, “Yes, I hear you.” This can bring more comfort than you can imagine.
Prayer: Lord, listen to my pleas for help and salvation. And help me to listen to the pleas of others without trying to fix them or make sense of them. Let me love them as you love me. Amen.
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