Scripture: Psalm 142:4 – “Look on my right hand and see: there is no one who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for me.” (NRSVUE)
One of the great virtues to the American psyche is independence. The holiday celebrating the beginning of our nation is “Independence Day,” and we struggle above almost all else for freedom from tyranny, although we tend to define what tyranny is in different ways. One of the greatest archetypes for an American hero is the frontiersman or the cowboy. This is a man, and it is usually a man, who rides out alone into the wilderness to seek his fortune. He depends on no one and nothing but his strength, courage, ingenuity, and hard work. In his freedom, he can make a life for himself with no one else around.
In his play No Exit, Jean-Paul Sartre wrote, “Hell is other people.” While Sartre meant that our entanglement with the opinions of others traps us together in hellish situations, in the popular imagination, it (falsely) means that other people are terrible and that we are happiest when we are alone. Part of that independent, frontier mentality is that the further we are from others, the happier and more successful we can become.
But as the coronavirus pandemic has taught us, isolation does not bring happiness. We need other people. We become emotionally distraught when we cannot see or share a physical presence with others. Even our work suffers, as without the “hellish” judgment of others we easily fall into listlessness and disillusionment.
Our physical distance, whether it is in isolated homes in the suburbs or countryside or through working from home or by just being shy, can mean that when we inevitably fall into trouble, there is no one to help us. There are few thoughts more frightening to someone with an older parent living alone that they might fall or otherwise be in physical trouble and then pass away before anyone can help them. Outside of physical problems, emotional stress, and lack of work ethic, isolation also makes us less empathetic to others, less likely to lend a hand, less likely to be kind or to see in them the presence of God.
There comes some point in your adult life where you must depend on others, whether it is for emotional, spiritual, or physical support, as most of us do not grow our own food, make our own clothes, or create our own tools and shelters. Psalm 142 is a prayer for deliverance, supposedly sung by David when he was hiding in a cave from King Saul’s assassins. He felt utterly alone. There was no place for him and no one who cared whether he lived or died. The psalmist cries, “no refuge remains to me,” but in the next verse he says, “O Lord… you are my refuge.” Unlike what is sung in other psalms, victory for the psalmist is not vindication over his enemies, but rather finding reconnection with the presence of others. “They righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me.”
Sometimes it seems like our society celebrates when we isolate ourselves from God and from the needs and presence of others. But hell is not other people. Hell is the permanent separation from God. And if God is known through other people, that means that, in some ways, other people are actually heaven. So, when you feel alone, angry, afraid, hopeless, or uncertain, remember to turn to others. Reconnect with a family member. Share your troubles with a friend, even if it means finding a new one. Pray to God, who comforts you when no one else can but who also guides you towards people and places where you can be valued and loved, places like a church. Push back against those forces that push us apart and rediscover the value of love in community.
Prayer: God, guide me closer to others as I seek to be closer to you. Amen.
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