Scripture: 2 Samuel 19:34 – “But Barzillai said to the king, ‘How many years have I still to live, that I should go up with the king to Jerusalem?’” (NRSV)
Father’s Day is this coming Sunday, a day when we honor our fathers with phone calls and gifts, including the classics like ties and tools. I am getting a spice rack, but don’t tell anyone, it is supposed to be a surprise! Father’s Day makes me think of one of the Ten Commandments which is often forgotten, “Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Many people throw this around at children and teens when they are being bratty or obstinate, but the real meaning is more than politeness. It means respecting the dignity of one’s parents in their old age and providing for them as necessary. This is what is meant by “so that you days may be long.” In days when people live longer than they ever have before, taking care of aging parents can be a fulltime job, to the point where many people must send their parents to care facilities to make sure they get the attention they need. People on both sides of such decisions need our prayers and love every day.
There comes a point in everyone’s life where they realize that cannot do the things they loved anymore, and this can be one of the most painful parts of life. There is a loss of freedom and joy and a sense of impending mortality. But it can also provide clarity and wisdom.
Sometimes you need to make one last hurrah of things. Next week my father, who is in his mid-seventies, will be accompanying my sister and her family to Walt Disney World so he can enjoy it with his younger grandchildren, ages 4 and 22 months. This is a bit young for my tastes, by my dad insisted on going. He is not as mobile as he used to be, though still far from walkers and wheelchairs. But walking 10+ miles a day through the parks will be difficult for him. So, he is willing to swallow his pride and rent a scooter to make it happen because I think he knows that this may be his last chance to see his grandchildren enjoy the “magic” of the parks. I think he is gaining the clarity to accept life as it is and to enjoy these special moments as they arise.
In the Second Book of Samuel there is a story about a man named Barzillai. In later part of King David’s reign, he was overthrown by his son Absalom, who was later killed in a nasty civil war. During that conflict, David was aided by Barzillai. After the war, David asked Barzillai to come and live with him in the palace as one of his courtiers. But Barzillai refused. He was eighty years old and knew that a life of palatial carousing and intrigue was no longer for him. He sent his son, Chimham, instead, and Chimham and his descendants are honored members of the court for several generations. David, despite his love of Barzillai, accepted his decision.
Barzillai knew that sometimes it’s time to step back. And at those times, it is most important to honor one’s father and mother as they make that decision. The Bible story reminds us to not forget them, even if they are no longer in the center of everything. So, whether you are one or one-hundred, remember to honor your father and all those who showed love to you as a father or parent over the years this Sunday, because there is a time for everything.
Prayer: God, help us to love and honor the parents in our midst, just as we love and honor you, the Father of us all. Amen.
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