Suffer in Silence

Scripture: Psalm 39:2-3a – “I was silent and still; I held my peace to no avail; my distress grew worse; my heart became hot within me.” (NRSVue)

We are often told that we should suffer in silence. The righteous person does not rail or complain, but faithfully accepts what the Lord has given to them. Entire Biblical books like Lamentations, The First Letter of Peter, and the Revelation of John are about endurance in the face of suffering.

But there is a difference between endurance and silence. With endurance, God walks beside you, but with silence, you are alone. With endurance, you pray to God for help when all seems lost. With silence, you assume that God has some sort of plan and figure that if God cared about what you think, God would let you know.

Both the findings of psychology and the wisdom of faithful experience teach us that keeping negative feelings inside for too long is destructive. Eventually, that negativity is going to explode out, and it is better that it is done at the right time so that it doesn’t hurt anyone else.

Psalm 39 contains a wonderful image about what I am talking about. It begins with the psalmist trying to keep quiet amidst their suffering, because speaking in anger is a type of sin. But that anger at the world and even at God would not relent until finally the psalmist bursts out, asking “what do I wait for?” in the midst of a ever-so brief lifetime of suffering. But as in many psalms like this, once the psalmist has cried to God in frustration, they are then able to pivot to faith and acceptance. But only after. Keeping our anger from God keeps God’s comfort, mercy, and forgiveness far away.

Think about something that really bothers you, something that you have been told to be quiet about so that you don’t upset people or because it is not worth talking about. It is worth being upset about. It is worth talking about. And that starts with God. When you are alone, let out that primal scream. Tell God that you are mad and not going to take it anymore. Because God hears you, God loves you, and God will care for you when you are angry. Then you know you can either endure the injustice in your life or find the courage to strive against it. God will be with you. You never need to suffer in silence.

Prayer: Lord, hear my anger at all that makes me miserable. Take that anger and help me turn it into love. Amen.